Bros Before Hoes
by xXCarlaLouiseXx
Summary: Ever heared of the expression "Three's a crowd"? Well apparently Tweek hadn't. Crenneek! CraigxKennyxTweek
1. That one fatefull night

**A/N: Ok, so for weeks now I've been going crazy trying to decide whether I love Creek or Crenny more, so my mind just went "Duh! put them both together!" and that was how this fic came to be. It should really be called Kencreek, but I prefer the sound of Crenneek lol.**

**It was originally going to be just a lemon one-shot, but I decided to make it multichap instead.**

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Looking back on things, it really was no surprise that Tweek had finally surrendered to exhaustion, he had been constantly on guard for the past two months. However, falling asleep on the bed of the person, who happened to be part of the reason why Tweek was on guard -whilst the other part of the reason was present- was probably not Tweek's smartest idea.

Ever heard of the expression "Three's a crowd" ?

Well apparently the twitchy blond hadn't.

From the moment he first found out that Craig and Kenny were an item he'd spent every last one of his waking moments making absolutely sure that the couple didn't have a single moment alone. Tweek never intended to split them up or anything, he just wanted to make sure that Craig would stick to the 'Bros before Hoes' -litteraly in Kenny's case- rule that boys tended to promise each other when they were in this situation. At first this had majorly irritated both guys, until the one day when they were watching a movie...

Craig and Kenny had deliberately chosen a horror film, in hopes of driving the blond away for a while. The actual result was far more interesting. As Tweek began to whimper and shake violently, Craig's resolve had faltered. He found himself involuntarily clutching the blond against his chest, slipping into his natural role as Tweek's protector. A bright red blush lit up the cheeks of the paranoid blond. As Tweek had conveniently chosen to sit in the middle, Kenny had no choice but to watch with a glare.

Tweek -sensing Kenny's harsh gaze- slowly turned his head to look at the taller blond, his eyes wide with fear. "K-Kenny?" he asked. "Are you -nngh- mad at me?"

Kenny was surprised that Tweek had asked him that question at first, he had hardly spoken to him since the whole thing began. However, his look of surprise soon turned into a sly smirk when it finally clicked, Tweek didn't want him off the scene so he could make a move, he was just desperate not to be left out. Well, if Tweek wanted to be included then he would damn well be included. "Of course I'm not mad at you, Tweek," Kenny grinned. "I'm just feeling a little left out over here." With that he also wrapped his arms around the smaller blond.

Craig shot Kenny a questioning look "Kenny, what are you d-"

"Oh Jesus," Tweek whimpered at the screen. He successfully cut Craig's question short as he instinctively grabbed the front of Kenny's t-shirt, tightening his grip on the material of both boy's shirts instinctively. It was an incredibly small move, but was also incredibly cute. "Gah!" Tweek exclaimed when he realised what he was doing, the blush from earlier returning with a vengance. In that moment Craig met Kenny's gaze over the wild blond hair of Tweek Tweak and the plotting grin that spread across his face was almost identical to his partner's.

... Since then the pair have done everything in their power to subtly get reactions from Tweek. Whether it was grasping his hand at a random moment or whispering some choice words into his ear in public places. The problem with this was that Tweek was painfully aware that they were up to something -although in his mind it was more along the lines of plotting his murder- and he was constantly on red alert... until that fatefull evening.

Kenny and Craig were sat on the old, patchy carpet -which was one of the downfalls of not liking change- of Craig's bedroom, watching Tweek as he slept peacfully. "It's weird," Kenny blurted out as he observed the sleeping boy's chest gently rise and fall.

"What is?" Craig asked, turning to face his boyfriend.

"I've never seen him so... calm," he stated, standing up before slowly and carefully sitting at Tweek's side.

"I know," Craig nodded, moving to stand beside Kenny. "But I can't work out if it's a good weird or a bad weird."

Kenny paused to think, taking a long look at the unusually tranquil blond. "It's a bad weird."

"Why?" Craig questioned. "For once he's not working his way towards insanity."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed. "But seeing him so calm, makes me want to make him not calm."

"Totally," Craig nodded. "But maybe we should just leave him alone for once and enjoy the fact that we have peace and quiet for the first time in weeks."

Kenny smirked "I like your way of thinking," he stated before pressing his lips against Craig's. The boy's got lost in their actions as hands found waists and tongues became involved. The world seemed to melt away, until a barely audible mumble brought them both crashing back down to reality... and the Tweek stalking resumed. "Did he just sleep talk?" Kenny asked, carefully moving to Tweek's other side so that him and Craig were sat either side of the boy.

"I think so," Craig nodded, both teens now leaning over, their faces as close as they could get to the blond without waking him.

Tweek sighed before mumbling again, but this time both teens clearly heard "K-Kenny?"

Kenny sat up with a triumphant grin "Well, well. Looks like your best friend has a crush on me, Craig."

Before Craig could come up with a clever response the blond spoke again. Only this time it was Craig's name rolling off his lips. Craig smirked right back at Kenny in a mocking way "Looks like my best friend has a crush on me too," he teased.

"Well we can't just ignore the poor kid. Can we?" Kenny purred. He tentatively reached out and ran his fingers along the pale skin on Tweek's face, tracing the contours until he reached the blond's collar bone. Tweek reacted with a violent shiver, causing Craig's eyes to widden.

He leaned down so that his lips were right next to Tweek's ear. "Tweek," he whispered causing the paranoid blond to shiver again, before biting the shell of his ear. This time the reaction was far more satisfying as Tweek let a small moan pass his lips. Craig sat up again, smiling widely at the slightly red tint to Tweek's face. However when he caught sight of Kenny's hand heading for the exposed, snowflake white flesh of Tweek's stomach he instantly snapped out of it. "Don't!" he snapped.

"Jealous?" Kenny chuckled.

"No, Tweek's-" but it was too late, Kenny's fingertips collided with Tweek's skin. "...ticklish on his stomach."

As soon as Craig uttered that sentence Tweek burst into hysterics, his child-like giggles echoing off the walls of Craig's bedroom. "How the hell did you know that?" Kenny asked, shooting Craig a weird look.

"We were nine once," Craig pointed out. "Nine year olds have tickle fights."

As the laughter died down Tweek's coffee coloured eyes abruptly shot open, panic written all over his face when he saw the two boys hovering over him. "WHAT THE -GAH!- FUCK?" Tweek screeched. He attempted to get up, but Kenny was too quick, he placed both of his hands against the smaller blond's chest, successfully pinning him down.

"Don't act so surprised Tweek," Kenny grinned. "We know you were dreaming about us."

"Oh Jesus!" Tweek panicked, his breathing becoming more erractic. "You're reading my mind!"

Craig raised his eyebrows "Seriously Kenny?" he questioned in an unimpressed tone. "You seriously thought that was a good idea?"

Kenny ignored the raven haired boy, leaning in closer to Tweek. "You talk in your sleep," he whispered. Craig would never admit it, but seeing the two of them so close he felt a twinge of... anger? No, it was far milder than anger, this strange feeling was unlike anything the raven haired boy had ever felt before. Envy? Jealousy? It might have been, but Craig didn't want to dwell upon it for too long, so he shook it off.

Tweek was still struggling against Kenny's hold "Nngh- please! Don't -gah- hurt me!" he begged. Kenny would have replied too, if it wasn't for the fact that Tweek accidently delivered a perfect headbutt, causing the other teen to yelp and press his hands against his head. "Ken? Kenny? Are y-you ok?"

"No," Kenny answered before taking a deep breath. "I feel kind of dizzy."

Without even thinking, Tweek grabbed the injured boy's face "I'm -ack- so sorry!" he repeated over and over again, placing small, butterfly kisses all over Kenny's face. "You scared m-me! I didn't mean -" but Tweek's appology was cut short when Kenny's lips captured his.

The first thing Kenny noticed was that he felt exactly the same with Tweek as he did with Craig. He still felt his heart leap in his chest, he still felt the rest of the world become distant an unimportant -although both boys were extremely aware of Craig's presence- and he still felt like he didn't wanna be anywhere else, but Tweek and Craig's kisses were both opposite extremes. Craig's kiss was relaxed and controlled, whereas Tweek's was jittery and a little slapdash, but they were both still super awesome kissers.

That was the moment Kenny realised this wasn't just a case of sexual attraction, he had grown attached to both the paranoid spaz and the stoic asshole.

Kenny McCormick was in love! ...With two guys! ...At the same time!

Craig narrowed his eyes at the sight before him. He didn't like it, at all. The feeling from before came back with a vengance, causing the usually impassive teen's blood to boil. It wasn't that he didn't like Tweek being all over his boyfriend, and it wasn't that he didn't like Kenny being all over his best friend. He just resented the fact that they were both all over each other and acting like he didn't even exist.

The kiss broke, and all they had time to do was smile at each other before Kenny collapsed in Tweek's lap. The blond squeaked in surprise, pushing Kenny up by the shoulders before loosening his grip, frowning when the other blond fell forwards again limply "Is he... uh-"

"Dead?" Craig offered, Tweek nodded. Craig leaned forwards, pressing his fingertips against Kenny's neck and sighing in relief when he found a pulse. "No, just unconscious," he stated. "Fuck! How hard was that headbutt?"

"Nngh - I freaked out," Tweek shrugged, slipping out from underneath Kenny and off the bed. "I... uh... it's l-late, I should -ack- go," he stammered quickly.

Tweek practically sprinted from Craig's room, making his way towards the front door, completely unaware that he was being followed. He reached for the door handle, only to let out a nervous noise when a hand grabbed his shoulder and he was spun around, coming face to face with Craig again. "Tweek, talk to me," he demanded.

"I'M SORRY!" Tweek yelled, hands twisting in his best friend's shirt. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! IT JUST HAPPENED SO FAST AN-"

"Tweek," Craig interjected. "It's ok. I know that Kenny likes you, we both like you," he bit his lip anxiously in fear that maybe Tweek didn't feel the same way about him as he did about Kenny.

A pained expression crossed over Tweek's features "I like you guys too," he whispered, without one single stutter or random outburst. "But Jesus! It's so -gah- messed up! It's not normal to l-like too guys! It's not right!"

Craig sighed "I know Tweek," he pointed out, gently brushing a strand of wild hair out of the blond's face. "I know," he repeated at a lower volume, his fingertips moving down slightly to rest on the boy's cheek. Tweek started to feel a little awkward under Craig's unfaltering gaze, and was about to voice this thought, before Craig cut him off. "Can I just... try something?" he asked, knowing that Tweek would freak out if he just went ahead and acted on his thoughts.

"Yeah, I would -nngh- really like you to 'try something'," Tweek answered, his voice barely even a whisper.

Craig closed the gap between them, tenderly pressing his lips agaisnt Tweek's. Like Kenny, Craig was quick to realise that there were two distinctly different kissing styles. Kenny was experienced and skilful, whereas Tweek was inexperienced and needed someone to take control of the situation, but that didn't mean that they weren't equally as good in their own ways. He also felt exactly the same with both boys, the same fluttering sensation in his stomach, the same quickening in pace of his heart beat and the same sense that the world was melting around them.

When they reluctantly broke apart Craig's grey-ish eyes searched Tweek's coffee brown ones. "Oh no!" Tweek whimpered.

TWEEK WAS IN LOVE! WITH TWO GUYS! AT THE SAME TIME!

"What?" Craig asked, feeling uncharacteristically insecure. "Am I a bad kisser?"

"N-no," Tweek answered way too quickly. "It's n-not the -gah- kiss, the kiss was great," he mumbled with a blush. "It's just -ack!... I'm so confused."

Craig sighed "I know this isn't exactly a normal situation, but... I don't know... we'll work this thing out somehow." He stepped back from Tweek, finally letting the blond open the door. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, when Kenny is conscious."

Tweek nodded "Goodnight Craig," he whispered. Tweek never said goodbye, he saw it as a jinx.

"Goodnight Tweek," Craig replied.

As soon as Tweek had disappeared and the door was shut Craig exhaled, pressing his back against the wooden surface and slinding into a sitting postion, letting his head rest agaist his palms.

Craig Tucker was in love. With two guys. At the same time.

Typical.

"Why couldn't this just be a simple, one-time-only threesome?" he asked himself.


	2. Lets try and make this work

It was the day after that fatefull sleepover. Kenny and Craig had gone to Tweek's house before school in order to try and find out what the hell was going on between the three of them. An awkward silence surrounded the boys as they stayed at a safe distance away from each other, almost sitting on opposite sides of Tweek's living room as they stared at each other. "Maybe..." Kenny broke the silence. "Maybe it's just one of those heat of the moment - teenage hormones running wild - type of things."

Craig sighed, shooting Kenny a weird look "How do you feel right now Kenny?" he asked.

"Well I'm not exactly happy about how far away from me you both are," he replied.

"So then it wasn't a 'heat of the moment' thing was it?" he questioned.

"Oh Jesus!" Tweek exclaimed. "This isn't just gonna go away is it? This is -nngh- just gonna eat away at us until we go insane and have to be admitted to a mental hospital and - Jesus! Not straight jackets! I like being able to move my arms!" his hands slowly reached up to twist into his wild hair.

The other teens watched in concern "Don't pull your hair," they chorused.

"Look," Craig started, attempting to be the voice of reason."Why don't we just go to school and try to stay away from each other, just to see how it goes?"

The blonds shared a reluctant look before nodding slowly "Ok," they answered.

...

By the time Mr Garrison had began reading the register the boys regreted this decision. Tweek risked a glance in Craig's direction, only to freeze when he found Craig's sharp, icy blue eyes staring right back at him. He'd been caught, but he just couldn't remove his gaze from the raven haired boy. He inhaled sharply and bit his bottom lip as his eyes travelled down to Craig's mouth. 'Twenty four hours ago I was kissing those lips' he thought, which instantly caused him to let out a loud cry of "Pressure!"

Mr Garrison looked up from the register "Tweek could you please keep all spazy noises to yourself?" he asked. "And stop undressing Craig with your eyes," he added.

Tweek's face burned a brilliant shade of crimson as he sank into his seat. Kenny, who was sat behind the other two, couldn't help but grin at Tweek's adorable reaction. Unfortunately Kyle caught this "Kenny," he whispered, the blond continued staring. "KENNY," he whispered a little louder, but the blond wasn't listening, his eyes still fixed on Tweek as he chuckled lightly. Kyle growled slightly in frustration before throwing his pencil at Kenny, almost hitting him square in the eye.

"Owww, what the fuck Kyle?" Kenny whispered harshly at him.

"Dude, Tweek was totally eye fucking your boyfriend and you're smiling about it?" Kyle questioned.

Kenny squirmed under Kyle's questioning gaze "I... uh... I just..."

"Kyle, you know how Kenny is," Stan interrupted. "He never takes anything seriously. He probably thought it was funny."

"Yeah," Kyle nodded in consideration. "Yeah I guess."

Kenny breathed a sigh of relief, fighting back the urge to argue that he did take things seriously. However, the blond couldn't help noticing that Kyle was still shooting him a slightly suspiscious look.

The rest of the lesson was painfull for Kenny, he found himself locked in an inner struggle to keep his eyes on his work. His mind just kept playing yesterday's events on repeat. He tried to think clearly, he tried to figure out who he liked more, but each time he came to the same conclusion... he liked them both equally. Kenny couldn't imagine just being with one of them now. Call him greedy, but he just wouldn't want to be with one and not the other. He was in too deep, from that very second he first hugged the blond he had doomed himself.

Craig, Craig was a challenge. Kenny enjoyed trying to get emotions from the normally stoic guy. It was comfortable and everything felt right with Craig, like spending every second with a best friend. Although their feelings were way stronger than friendship.

Then there was Tweek. Tweek kind of took Kenny by surprise. The twitchy little blond had wormed his way into Kenny's life while he wasn't looking, but Kenny was so glad that he'd done it. He couldn't help but want to cuddle Tweek and keep him safe, he assumed that this was why Craig liked him too.

Kenny barely resisted the desire to slam his head against the table.

...

There aren't many things that could surprise Craig, but when Kenny grabbed him and pulled him into the boys' bathroom at lunch he was a little taken aback to say the least. "Kenny! What the fu-"

His sentence was cut short when Kenny's lips crashed against his almost painfully. After a few seconds they broke apart "I can't do this," Kenny stated, his grip on Craig's shirt tightening slightly. "I thought I could do this, but I can't. This is driving me insane. I can't just spend the rest of the year ignoring you guys and this isn't going to go away."

"I can't do this either," Craig stated truthfully. "I thought it would be easier than this. Where's Tweek? We need to sort this out."

"I don't know where Tweek is-"

But Kenny was cut off when both boys heard a loud cry of "Oh Jesus! Please! I didn't do anything!" followed by a loud crash. Both boys instantly froze, a sickening chill creeping up their spines. "Please! Nngh- stop!" Tweek sobbed. After that it didn't even take half a second for Craig and Kenny to dash out into the hallway tensing with fury and panic when they saw Cartman holding Tweek against the lockers by his neck. Tweek looked up at them with tears cascading down his cheeks, mixing with the thick, scarlet blood that slowly oozed out of his nose.

"Drop him!" Craig growled.

"Now!" Kenny added, his tone just as severe.

"Pshh! Don't make me laugh!" Cartman snorted. "What are you fags gonna do? You're just as pathetic as this spaz," he stated, tightening his grip on Tweek's throat. Tweek kicked furiously, his feet meeting thin air as he struggled to breath. His small hands grasped at Cartman's larger one in a useless attempt to remove it.

"Gah," Tweek gasped. This wasn't the first time Cartman had lashed out at him for no reason. In the past few years Cartman had grown away from his original group, opting instead to hang out with the school bullies. Unfortunately for Tweek he had become the brunette's favourite little punch bag because -in Cartman's words- he was too pathetic and weak to fight back.

"Go on," Cartman pressed onwards with a smirk at the reactions he was causing. He tightened his grip again until darkness edged it's way into Tweek's vision "What are you gonna do? Kick my ass?"

"Exactly," Craig deadpanned before punching Cartman in the face so hard that he stumbled backwards, dropping Tweek in the process. Kenny caught the smaller blond as Craig continued to punch Cartman, his anger becoming uncontrollable.

"Craig," Kenny said softly, placing a hand on the raven haired teens shoulder and supporting Tweek with the other. Craig whipped around to look at Kenny, his usually stoic eyes gleaming with fury "He's not worth it."

Craig forced himself to calm down "You're right," he panted as he caught his breath and clambered up off the floor. "You ok Tweek?" he asked.

All Tweek had time to do was shake his head before he slumped forwards, forcing both boys to catch him. "Shit!" Kenny exclaimed. "Tweek?" he questioned.

"I think he fainted," Craig pointed out.

"No shit," Kenny answered sarcastically.

...

Tweek's head screamed in protest as he was dragged back into reality. His eyelids slowly fluttered open to reveal white, he was surrounded by the blank colour and a bright light above him. "Oh Jesus," he whimpered, his voice sounding incredibly weak and croaky. "Did I die?"

"No Tweek," a nasally voice answered. Tweek sat up slowly -despite the fact that his head was spinning visciously- to see Craig sat opposite him. Craig stood up, moving to sit beside his blond friend "You fainted. You're in the nurses office."

"Where's Kenny?" Tweek asked nervously. "And -nngh- what's on my nose?" he added.

"Kenny will be back in a few seconds, he had to go and tell the principal his version of the incident. And Cartman broke your nose, so it's all bandaged up," Craig explained slowly, brushing a strand of hair out of Tweek's face. "Shit Tweek," he winced when he saw the purpling skin around Tweek's eyes. "How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked sadly. Tweek felt a little scared, were those actual tears in Craig's eyes.

"I... uh... ack," he choked out. "A while," he sniffed before collapsing into tears. Craig didn't hesitate to pull the smaller boy into a hug Tweek clinging to the material on Craig's shirt and burrying his face into the soft, blue material. "I was -gah- scared. I didn't t-tell you because he... he said..." he didn't finish the sentence, dissolving into tears as Craig held him tightly, dying inside at the sight of Tweek so upset. He could have prevented this. If he knew he could have stopped it.

"He said what Tweek?" a voice came from the doorway and they both looked up to see Kenny stood there, concern etched into his features. "What did Cartman say to you?" he asked softly, walking towards the other teens and taking a seat next to the smaller blond.

"He said he would... he would... k-kill me," the last part dropped to a whisper as Tweek shook with tears again, pressing his face into his hands and letting out a small yelp when it irritated his injuries. Kenny and Craig pulled Tweek into another tight hug, Kenny placing a small kiss on Tweek's head.

"Listen to me," Kenny instructed. "From now on, if anything like this ever happens to you again, you tell us. Got it?" Tweek nodded in response.

"I'm sorry," Craig whispered. "I'm your best friend, I should have noticed that something was wrong. If I knew I could have-"

"But you -ack- didn't," Tweek interupted. "Please d-don't blame yourself Craig," Tweek pleaded, placing a quick, tentative and slightly painfull -for Tweek anyway- kiss on Craig's lips as he removed one of his hands from Craig's shirt to lace it with Kenny's, their fingers intertwining gently. "Ignoring each other didn't -gah- work did it?" Tweek inquired, causing the other teens to chuckle weakly.

"I guess not," Kenny answered.

"So what do we do now?" Tweek questioned.

There was a long silence, before Kenny let out a defeated sigh. "I know this is weird, but we could try and make this work couldn't we?"

"You mean all three of us date each other?" Craig questioned. "It's not exactly a 'normal' relationship."

"Is anything ever normal around here?" Kenny inquired.

"I think it's a -nngh- good idea," Tweek stated, biting his lip anxiously as the others stared at him in surprise. They hadn't expected that, especially from Tweek. They were more prepared to handle a complete spaz out involving conspiray theories and possibly gnomes from the twitchy blond than an agreement.

"Ok," Craig surrendered, nuzzling against Tweek slightly. "Let's try to make this work."

"Dude!" a horrified voice called out, causing the three teens to freeze, panic spreading through their features. They turned they're gaze -not breaking the hug- to see Kyle stood in the doorway, gawking at them through huge, terror filled, green eyes.

How the hell were they going to explain this?


	3. Bribery

**A/N: Sorry, this chapter kind of fails, or at least I think it does.**

**I was trying to work some sort of storyline into it so hopefully now that I've kind of done that, I can start writting some better chapters. So I've sort of transformed it from a one shot to the slightly awkward beginnings of a multichap.**

**If this dissapoints anyone I'd just like to say I'm sorry in advance.**

**I do not own South Park**

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Kenny instantly broke the hug to chase after Kyle as he stormed off, Craig slowly following after to watch from the doorway, just in case an intervention was needed. "Kyle wait!" Kenny called. "You don't understand!"

"Understand what?" Kyle snapped, turning on the spot to glare at Kenny, his emerald eyes filled with a firey quality that he had obviously inherited from his mother. "Are you gonna tell me that you love them? Two people? Are you -Kenny McCormick- gonna stand there and tell me that you are in love with two people at the same time and act like it's not a big deal? How could you possibly expect me to understand that?"

"Because it's true," Kenny stated quietly, but loud enough for the others to hear him. Tweek, who -out of panic and curiosity- had joined Craig at the door to the nurse's office, let out a small gasp at Kenny's confession. He hadn't expected that so soon, plus he had been convinced that somehow he would end up being the first to use the L word. Craig, however, simply raised an eyebrow quizzically, he had never really been one of those people who wore their thoughts and feelings in their facial features. "Please just try and accept it," he begged, knowing that his friend was extremely opinionated when it came to 'right' and 'wrong'.

Kyle let out a defeated sigh, dropping his gaze to his feet. "I... I can't Kenny," he stated saddly. "This just isn't right. You can't be with two people, you can't feel the same about two people. It just doesn't work that way. Love is supposed to be special and I refuse to stand by and watch you treat it like it's nothing," Kyle turned to walk away, but Kenny wasn't giving up that easily.

"But it's not even cheating!" he yelled.

"Sorry Kenny," Kyle mumbled in response.

Kenny didn't know what to do, he knew that if he let Kyle walk away he would not only lose a friend, but maybe also lose Tweek and Craig. He was absolutely certain that Kyle would tell someone, but he just couldn't think of anything he could possibly say to change the redhead's mind.

Tweek was having a similar problem. He couldn't stand to see Kenny so upset and he knew that if it was one of his friends he would try anything to get them to stay. He also began to panic about what would happen if their secret got out, they would probably be banished from the town and have to join a circus and the only job left for him would be lion tamer, which would be fine until that one fatefull day that someone forgets to feed the lion before his act and-" WE'LL HELP YOU GET STAN!" he blurted, not knowing what else to say.

Craig and Kenny stared wide eyed at the small blond as he blushed and shuffled awkwardly under their gazes. Kyle halted, turning slowly with a bewildered look on his face. "What?" Kyle questioned.

Tweek paused to regulate his erratic breathing "We'll help you g-get Stan," he repeated slowly. "If you keep our secret and at least try to stay -ack- friends with Kenny we will help you get Stan to go out with you."

Craig and Kenny continued to stare at Tweek in surprise. Had that really just happened? What the hell had gotten into Tweek? It was the last thing they expected from the normally more timid blond, and all they could do was gawk at him in shock. Besides, how did he even know that Kyle was gay?

Kyle however, seemed slightly more animated and flustered "H-how did you- I don't even-"

"S-save it," Tweek interrupted. "I know you like him. That's why you -gah- look at him the way you do. Unless you're planning to murder him... o-or maybe you're a cannibal! and you -ack- want to eat him! Oh Jesus! What if I'm next? Don't eat me Kyle! I wouldn't be very appetising! Eat Craig instead, he's-"

"Tweek!" Craig whispered harshly, breaking the paranoid rant. Tweek looked up at Craig, a hint of panic still lingering in his eyes "You were ranting again," he pointed out.

"I was?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Kenny and Craig chorused, lopsided smiles on their faces at how cute Tweek was being.

Kyle shook off his discomfort at the scene in front of him, it was all just too wierd for the Jewish teen to take in. "So uh... how... how do you plan on doing this?" he asked.

The others let out a sigh of relief as Kyle began to co-opperate. "I d-don't know yet," Tweek answered truthfully. "But we'll manage somehow."

"Yep," Kenny grinned. "This is my area of expertise. Just leave it to us, we'll come up with a plan."

A long, tension filled pause followed before Kyle finally let out a sigh of defeat "Ok," he agreed. "I won't tell anyone, but we're gonna have to talk about this Kenny. I can't just pretend I'm ok with it."

Kyle normally would never have agreed to something like this. The redheaded teen just did not feel comfortable with the situation, and he usually hated bribery with every fibre of his being, but Tweek was right. He did like Stan as more than a friend, and somehow -eventhough he was seemingly doing a good job of hiding it- the twitchy blond had discovered his secret. Although the offer completely conflicted with his morals, Kyle was desperate. He had tried everything to make Stan realise what his feelings were, but Stan was completely oblivious. He had to accept Tweek's bribe.

It was his very last resort.

"Fine," Kenny answered. "I swear you will see this differently in a few days though."

"I doubt it," Kyle argued, before turning and dissapearing down the hall without another word, leaving three extremely perplexed looking boys to stare at his retreating form in utter confusion.

"So let me get this straight," Craig stated after a few heartbeats of silence. "If we wanna keep this a secret," he began, pointing at the three of them to emphasize 'this'. "We have to play matchmakers for Kyle and Stan?" Tweek and Kenny nodded in response. "How is that a good deal? Stan is still with Wendy, this is gonna be impossible."

"I'm s-sorry," Tweek mumbled guiltily. "But Kyle was gonna tell someone and we would have join the circus and the l-lion..." The blond's twiching was cranked up a notch as he replayed his earlier thoughts. "I'm too -nngh- young too be eaten by a lion man! I p-panicked! I didn't know what else to do! I j-just said it!" by now Tweek had both hands entwined in his hair and his breathing was a little more erratic. "Please don't hate me C-Craig! I wasn't thinking and-"

"Hey," Craig cut in, grabbing Tweek's wrists and removing his hands from his wild, blond locks. "I don't hate you," he reassured Tweek. "It's just, how the hell are we supposed to do this? We don't know the first thing about matchmaking."

"Ahem!" Kenny cleared his throat, placing a reassuring hand on both Tweek and Craig's shoulders, causing both boys to abruptly switch thier gaze to him. "That's what I'm here for," Kenny stated with an overconfident smirk. "And as for Wendy, don't worry about her, I've got a plan."

"Oh Jesus! What kind of -gah- plan?" Tweek questioned.

"You'll see," Kenny answered his grin only growing in intensity.

They didn't know why exactly, but there was something about the mischevious spark in Kenny's ocean blue eyes that Craig and Tweek really didn't like.


End file.
